Wedding Questions

Inviting Children

Posted in St Charles, MO, USA
Emptyprofileicon Kellsie Bourisaw St Charles, MO, USA

There are a lot of kids on both sides of the family, and I don't know how to address the issue. I want the reception to be really nice, and allow the adults to have a good time without the kids wanting to leave as soon as they get there, running around putting their finger in the cake, etc... but there are also some family members that are younger that I would like to be able to come. How do you decide whether or not to invite children??

11 Replies

Emptyprofileicon Kathleen Moore St Louis, MO, USA

I am in the exact same position. I have decided to go ahead and invite all of the children. I figure most couples will want a night out to themselves and they will find a sitter for the kids. I would think most couples will leave their young children at home because they don't want to watch them all night and they want to just let loose! Your wedding gives them a reason to have a date night!!! If these kids are real important in your life, then invite want them to be there because they are a part of your life. Maybe think about your atmosphere at the it formal or a little more laid back? One thing that I did find helpful is to ask your reception hall if they have children's pricing.

Have fun!



Emptyprofileicon Becky and Paul

We solved thereception problem by providing a basket full of dollar store toys, books, crayons, puzzles, etc. Kids and parents loved it. Most parents will bring their kids unless you tell them not to.


Emptyprofileicon Ashley and Justin

We put a note at the bottom of the RSVP card that said "Adults only reception". We, too, had a lot of concerns as to if we wanted some small children at the reception, but then realized that it was in everyone's best interest to not have them there. Those children don't necessarily want to be there and, you're right, might pressure their parents to leave earlier. I knew we made the right choice when one of my cousins, with four children - all left with a sitter, told me that she was having one of the best nights out that she's had in a while. Although some people did take a bit of offense at the beginning, we just informed them that this was going to be the same for everyone and it was because we wanted the overall reception to be more of a formal setting.

Good luck!! It's a tough call, but I DEFINITELY feel we made the right choice!!


140265 Larimore Plantation

Ashley is quite correct in her assessment. You can't worry if folks are offended, its your one day to call the shots. As a reception venue, we have seen everything from out of control herds of kids who run around breaking everything, to kids tables who manage to use crayons on everything they find, kids falling asleep in the walkways, kids spreading food on every piece of surrounding carpet, kids monopolizing the dance floor and also rare kids who aren't much of a distraction to the wedding reception. The best situation for most brides is to have an adults only reception and only give exceptions to children that are essential (ring bearer/flower girl/etc) or that you know will be well behaved.

Don't misunderstand, we love kids and have 2 young ones of our own. We even provide a child's menu if there are more than 10 children. But usually a parent with a child can't enjoy themselves as much, one parent has to watch the children outside or the whole family has to leave early because the children are tired or bored. Brides pay good money for guests to come and enjoy some fun time with her and her groom....not just to 'eat and run'. So, get a babysitter and go have fun !


143816 Anna Thauberger Vancouver, BC, Canada

We have a spare room and it was suggested to us to provide a sitter(s) for children. We haven't decided what to do yet but that is another idea you might consider.


Emptyprofileicon Jaime Wright Green Bay, WI, USA

I completely understand wanting to have a more formal, adult reception. But growing up, I remember how exciting weddings were for me -- getting to see the beautiful bride in her big white dress, the lights, the food, the dancing! I danced in front of the DJ stand for hours on end, thinking I would win some prize for "Best Dancer". :) I find weddings to be so magical and I think it's partly because they bring out that whimsy in everyone, so I plan on inviting children to my reception and hope they have as magical of a time as I did when I was little!


129951 Sarah Brindley Port Aransas, TX, USA

This is the one thing my fiancé and I disagree on. I think that kids add to a wedding reception. I've always loved sharing the dance floor with them at other people's weddings. He would like to have an adult only reception to keep our guest numbers down (there are a lot of families with kids on our list). I understand his reasoning, but I'm afraid that since we're having a destination wedding, couples will stay home if they can't bring their children.


Emptyprofileicon Lyndsey Leigh and Harry Childress

My Fiancee is telling me the same story. Basically, there is really only one answer. No Children. I want several of my own, but there is a time and place for children. You want your sister who has 5 kids to have a good time. The best solution... Hire a babysitter, maybe 3 or 4 and people who need to have their kids close by, or out of town.. they can go to the "wedding sitter" This way the parents can still have a good time, the kids are safe and close by and you will not have kids sized holes in your cake :)


Emptyprofileicon Amber Thomas

Keb17 and Kamoore78,
If you're both still trying to decide whether to invite children or what to do with them at the reception you should check us out at We provide on-site child care at wedding events.

Best of Luck,
Amber Thomas, Owner


135870 Kim Brannan

There are already some great ideas posted ... here are a few more.

We have been proud to part of many, many weddings and receptions and have seen children handled in many, many different ways. The "Wedding Sitter" idea has really been popular lately. It seems that most of the brides utilizing this idea have all the "wedding events" right away at the reception site, cake cutting, garter throwing, toast giving, etc and then as soon as dinner is over the small ones are taken to the children's area and watched over. A few of our brides have had day weddings and invited the children to the ceremony, had the flower (rice) toss and made a big deal about the children being there -- one even had a picture of herself and all the children in front of the church and then they had a reception for the adults -- it becomes such a long night for them. One of our brides was an elementary school teacher and she had us provide a long stem flower for each of them and as she entered the church she collected all the flowers from the children who were standing in two long lines and she walked down their aisle gathered up all the flowers into a casual bouquet and down the isle she went with her dad as he met her at the back door to the church. We also made a formal bouquet for her to carry the rest of the time and have in all her pictures. It was a thoughtful way to include "her kids."

Anyway, just some thoughts ... have a GREAT WEDDING !!


Emptyprofileicon Anonymous

You can use coloring pages at hier


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