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Guest List Dilemma


The invitations for our daughter's destination wedding and after party went out about 10 days ago. We basically didn't want to pick and choose who got an invite to the wedding and who would be invited to the after party back at home, so our entire guest list was invited to both and the rsvp card had options for accepting or declining either event. Now we've discovered that we have some "wiggle" room in the budget and are considering inviting some people we left off the original invitation list to join us for the after party. Is it appropriate to invite them to the after party and not to have invited them to the wedding? I'm torn over what to do. My husband says just invite them, but I want to do what is best, and right. Thanks!

Posted in St Louis, MO, USA
Written on Jun. 23, 2011


6 replies. Displaying 1 through 6.

It is not uncommon to have a smaller intimate wedding for family and close friends anda larger after party that includes more people. No need to feel badly. Our recommendation - go for it.

Jim and Sandy Belote & staff
BEALL MANSION An Elegant Bed & Breakfast Inn
St. Louis Metro East | Alton, IL 62002

Written on Jun. 24, 2011
Wedding Date: Nov, 2011
St Louis, MO, USA
View Wedding

I would think it's okay. They might appreciate not having to sit through the ceremony before getting to the party with the free food and drinks!!

Written on Jun. 24, 2011
Wedding Date: Jul, 2011
Erie, PA, USA
View Wedding

A destination ceremony is meant to be intimate so inviting more people to just the after-party back home should be understood by family and friends. Either way people are excited just to be a part of the big event.

Written on Jul. 06, 2011
Wedding Date: Jun, 2021
Concord, MA, USA

It is absolutely appropriate to have seperate guest lists for the two events. Guests are understanding, particularly for destination weddings.

Sara at Wedding Favors To Love

Written on Jul. 07, 2011
Wedding Date: Aug, 2011
Los Angeles, CA, USA
View Wedding

I agree that a destination wedding is usually small and intimate. Guest will appreciate the invitation later in celebration of your marriage.


Written on Jul. 19, 2011
Wedding Date: Jul, 2011
Los Angeles, CA, USA
View Wedding

I had more people at my ceremony than my reception. That is absolutely appropriate. I had two inserts for my inviation. One was for the ceremony inof and the other for the reception. I left the ceremony insert out for those invitations that were only for the reception. It worked out well. There were some people who expected both invites, but most people who are not close to the family were fien. So, my only advise is to just make sure what your guests are like and what might be their expectations. There are some ideas for weddings and invitations at www.chicweddingfavors.com if you need more input.

Written on Jul. 19, 2011


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